How I leanred to love being called a sissy

I first started crossdressing in 6th grade with my mother's clothes and makeup and to my knowledge no one knew. Maybe my mother suspected something but she never confronted me. . When I went to middle school the next year I got bullied by another boy and some of his friends who decided I was a gay sissy. Every day he would seek me out and ask me how I like being a cocksucking sissy fa**got or whether I was wearing panties and a bra under my boy clothes. They would laugh at me while they called me all sorts of degrading names. They spread rumors that I was gay. At first I was totally humiliated and embarrassed by this, but slowly I started to like it. I didn't understand why at the time, but I always got an erection when they called me names. I never hid myself from him or his friends, but began to make sure they saw me every day to begin my verbal harassment. I craved the abuse because deep down I knew he was right. I was a sissy who craved men's cocks. Every day I'd go home and go in the bathroom, grab some panties from the hamper and put my mom's lipstick on and masturbate thinking about that boy and what he called me that day. I began to fantasize about being left alone with him and having him tell me to suck his cock. I imagined myself dropping to my knees and unzipping his pants and finding myself staring at his hard cum-filled cock. It excited me so much to think about him using me for his pleasure while he called me humiliating names. Even to this day I still think about it and wet my panties. If that boy could only see me now when I'm dressed. I'd let him fuck me in both of my holes along with all of his friends and treat me like the sissy slut I am.